I'm fine thanks, just a bit sore after a rather active weekend.
(a colleague (Ben Gane) was heard to utter these words in response to being asked how he was on the telephone. Apparently, he was referring to having played in a hockey match. Yeah right.)
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It's like banging my head against a brick window.
(Frustration in the office caused Danielle Nelson to utter these immortal words.)
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Fig plucking doesn't half look like pig fucking
(not sure I've seen either activity enough to be sure...)
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"I thought I'd at least take the underwear off the ceiling fans."
(Trying to explain why I'd be late for work---the landlord was going to come into my house with an appraiser, and the house was a mess. Boss thought it wasn't necessary to clean up, so this was the most disgraceful thing I could think of if a stranger is coming to my house. (Wasn't true, of course.))
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"He squirted Cromalin on me, so I threw his Crime Scene tape out the window."
(Both of my sons had asthma and used a nebulizer, into which one had to add a dose of the liquid drug Cromalin, which came in twist-top squeezable plastic ampoules. One son had a penchant for outrageous objects, one of which was a roll of the yellow tape used by police to surround a crime scene.)
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I live my life for one reason, thats to live
life to the fullest and to die and go to heaven you cant
really live if you gave up on yourself and you cant really live your life unless you really learn to live!
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Moo Moo look who who the grass is green
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I apologise; despite appearances, it is actually quite a complex hat.
(My colleague Fraser takes the mickey out of our colleague Steph for her inability to put on a party hat. He then tries it himself, and fails.
Scary fact: we were all at our desks, sober.)
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We're thinking horse first, but we'll have the Parthenon as a backup.
(Four high school teachers were discussing what to sculpt out of Little Debbie treats.)
— submitted by abrown on 6 November 2009 13:46:05 GMT
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My name is Indigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to be dyed.
(Pete and I were bantering in the car, I cannot for the life of me remember how our conversation ended up referencing both the film and dye colours but we both blurted this bastardised quote out together - which was more than a little freaky, given we both made it up as we said it!)
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